she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
