i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I think I won the penis lottery.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
