Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
