You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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