As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
