a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
