i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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