just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
