so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
