the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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