yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
