hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
