end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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