Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
