Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
