Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
