you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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