i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
