It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
