Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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