bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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