capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
