Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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