It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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