STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
