dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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