I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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