It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
