I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
