isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
