wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
His nipple licking is glorious
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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