he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
