Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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