hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
