Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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