umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
