Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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