I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
