I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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