you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
