just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
