how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
