The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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