In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
