it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
