Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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