I love black thongs
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
