Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
