i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
