absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
