The maid of honor just puked.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
